What's My Next Hand?

Laying in bed staring at my ceiling makes me think... If I could re do high school there are so many things I would change. I would change my group of friends because all it caused was tears and fights.. I'd change the people I went after for the ones I had in front of me the whole time... I'd change things I did... I'd change situations that happened... There's a lot I'd change. But sadly it's not possible.. Why do we think about the past? Isn't it something we are supposed to move on from? Isn't it a learning experience. I guess I can say that everything I've ever done has shaped me into the person I am today and who knows where I'd be if I took a different path.. Would I even be in college? Or would I have a job? Or what? I honestly don't know where I'd be. But I guess I can say that through all the decisions and mistakes I've made, I've only grown stronger as an individual and I've become more aware of who I truly am and who I am meant to be. I always wanted to become a teacher and then when I came to college my whole mind set changed. I switched my major to sociology and there are so many more opportunities for me now. That's one decision I wouldn't change. And when it comes to guys... I wouldn't say I ever regret anything honestly. Some people may regret their past but I don't.. Yes some of the guys may not have been the best choices but through that I've learned what I want and what I deserve. And I guess at the end of the day that's a good thing. Through high school guys came and went, and most of my friends were actually guys so that made things a tad more difficult when I started to see some of them as maybe more than just a friend.. Automatically the thought popped into my head... "Do I say something? Or do I keep it to myself?" In most cases I kept it to myself. I didn't wanna ruin friendships especially with my two best guy friends. And for them I was the person they came to with all their girl problems and for advice because I am just good with that stuff. So I got into a relationship right before leaving for college, and it went on for a year and a half long distance. Honestly I wouldn't change that relationship for anything, it was with one of my best friends, but in the end it just didn't work. We weren't right for each other and even though after I broke up with him he hated my guts, I knew I made the right decision. And now looking back I know that I 100% made the right decision. I am finally gaining my friends back, my grades have gone up, I got a job, I'm healthier, and things are going good for me. And now I have a chance to take chances and make a life for myself in Florida. I was miserable being down here and now I'm going to permanently move down here and I couldn't be more happy about that decision. I am the happiest I've been in a while. I've been through hell and back several times and just when I think it can't get any worse it does. So luckily for once my luck has changed. And maybe now I can be on the right path, and find someone who's right for me, and someone I can see a future with without that vision changing. I give credit to whoever can put up with me though! I'm a very picky girl, and I know what I want haha. But I am loyal and when I say "I love you" I mean it. I don't just say it for the hell of it. But maybe the guy that's right for me is already in my life? Maybe he's gonna be someone I least expect? Who knows? So I guess only time can see what my future holds and what hand I'll be dealt next. I can only keep my fingers crossed that it's a good one.