Opening Up..

Starting a new chapter in the story of your life isn't always the easiest. And opening up to new people is one of those challenges... I never imagined i'd ever feel so comfortable with someone that i'd be able to tell them everything and and anything about me. Especially the stigmas i hold against myself. For those who may not know what a stigma is, the term stigma was first used by the Greeks who were strong on visual aids. They used this term to refer to a physical property of a person that was unusual and bad about the moral status of the signifier. Meaning when someone comes into our presence we tend to take a first impression on someone’s appearance. 


When looking at myself compared to others I can list quite a bit of things that make me feel a bit self-conscience. Everyone has something that they are self-conscience about, whether it be something about their appearance or even personality. We not only judge judge others on these items but we also take a good amount of time and judge ourselves. We compare ourselves to others and what we think we should be like. When in reality we are all unique, we are supposed to be different, we are supposed to be our own person. We just need to come to terms with that. And trust me I do know that it is easier said than done because I still tend to judge myself on my stigmas.

So last night while talking to someone who has become a bigger part of my life than I had imagined would ever happen so quickly... I opened up and told him a lot about myself and my struggles that I have in some cases honestly not even told a soul. Never in a million years did I ever imagine i'd be able to open up to someone like that. I never thought i'd be able to be honest with myself enough to trust someone with things like that. But as I always say everything happens for a reason, and people come into your life when you need them the most and the ones that stick around are the ones you can truly trust. And for once I think I found someone who is worth actually taking a chance for and someone who can get me to honestly and truly be myself. 

Being myself with someone has never been easy seeing as I can't see what most people see in me. All I've ever been able to see are my faults. I look at myself in the mirror and nit pick all the things i'd want to change. And I know that only breaks down an individual to a point where when they start to get close with someone they actually start to pick out the little things that bother them. And I've always done that with everyone I've ever gotten close with. But recently I haven't been doing this... So I guess things can truly change and when you meet that one person who truly accepts you for who you are, then you are finally able to accept yourself.

I think that when you are born a certain way you get acquainted to those differences in yourself and the moment someone makes a comment about it you become more aware of the difference and you become self-conscience. The differences you have are nothing new to you, but when someone points it out you begin to question yourself. And this becomes an issue for many people because they let it get to them. I always used to let my problems get to me but when someone told me it wasn't anything to be worried about I began to worry about it less and less. So things become bigger than they should be because others make it happen that way. 

So the lesson to learn here is that everyone has stigmas they hold themselves accountable for. And with those stigmas in which we put on ourselves we think that everyone around us judges us on those things, but when you truly find that one person who can look at you for who you are and never judge you and appreciate you hold on to them. Don't be afraid to let your guard down. Yes, I know it is something that is not the easiest thing to do, but try it. Maybe you'll be lucky and it will work out for the better...