Frustration

Frustration is a word that comes to my mind very often and it's a feeling that has been coming around more often as well... It's not particularly a good feeling to have either. Why have I been having this feeling you may ask? Well long story short there is someone who i'd greatly appreciate to have out of my life, yet no matter what they're always going to be there. 

Ex's are something that almost everyone has. And they are usually ex's for a reason. When someone hurts you and makes you feel worthless you want them gone. I am someone who has a big heart and never likes to hurt anyone. So believe me I tried. I wanted to remain friends with him and yes I understand breaking up with him hurt him, but he also hurt me. I won't go into details on that because it's not my place to, but when I broke up with him it was for a good reason. And later I was reassured of that... I tried to contact him when he got into a horrible car accident and what did I get? I get treated like shit. I was just trying to be nice. I understand breaking up with someone over text isn't the right thing to do and believe me I wouldn't normally do that, but when you get hung up on and they try calling again and the phone doesn't even get answered, I went to my last resort seeing as I was in Florida and he was in New York.. And then even though I was hurt I wanted to remain friends, but I guess that was too much to ask.. And now he decides that he wants to be friends. No, i'm done. I tried and look where it got me. I don't get why no one who knows the exact details doesn't understand why I am done.. But I guess it's a part of life. Nothing is perfect, and being told what you wanna here, but is not the truth can only get you so far. So at this point in my life I am done with my past, and I am moving on towards my future. I can't change the past, and honestly I wouldn't want to. It's made me realize what I want and what I truly deserve. I deserve to be happy and that's what I am trying to do for myself, yet it's almost impossible because the past keeps getting brought up. So starting today I am going to tune out what people say, I don't need to apologize for anything nor do I want to at this point. I am working on my future and I plan to make the most of it. I am going to be happy, and I am going to find someone (other than Bentley) to share the rest of my life with and who truly makes me happy and says things because he means it and not just because it's what he thinks I may want to hear... 

If you're going through a similar situation I want you to know you're not alone...